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“I want to study there and find a good job and a boyfriend without it being a secret,” he said with a mix of frustration and hope.He is from a well to-do family who know he is gay and are accepting of him although it’s mostly dealt with by silence: don’t-ask-don’t-tell. All his friends know he is gay and he has no difficulty finding dates when he’s not putting long hours in at school.Returning to the issue of his ‘confinement’ in Tunisia, at his young age Ari feels the ennui of a privileged child who has been given a liberal early education at private schools, who comes from a family devoid of fundamentalist religious attitudes, who has developed an intelligent and wide-ranging open mindedness toward the West and has a worldliness beyond his peers whom he often finds boring and focused on shallow interests.“I like opera and symphonies as well as pop; some of my peers think I am crazy but I don’t relate completely to this Tunisian culture. Also I want a husband, a monogamous one”, he said with the urgency of a impatient young gay male in the 21st century who is very aware of the bigger world beyond the shores of the Mediterranean.Currently he is dating a French telecom technician whom he met online at Manhunt.com, the major gay dating site in Europe and Africa. There was no problem because I think I was born gay and my cousin showed me that.(French, along with Arabic, is the major language here; sophisticated Tunisians prefer to speak French.) Ari talks about himself expressively and pensively; restless and eager to tell his story of life from an early age (before 10) when he had his first carnal experience at the hands of a cousin, which Ari at first resisted then quickly liked after a few times. If I wasn’t gay I think I would not have felt the pleasure of it.” This went on until he was ten or eleven. I didn’t stay with him.” The doctor then thought Ari was depressed and gave him Prozac but it made him feel sleepy and buzzed. By the time he was twelve, in 2004, he was fully aware of what homosexuality is.It is not easy to label the ‘scene’ here because it is not organized, not open, not admitted, yet it’s cruisy, sexy, internet-connected and quite populous. During my visit I chatted with two very different gay men, one a young student at a local university and the other a retired Italian resident of Tunis now self-employed. Ari, a university student studying architecture, and I met at tea time and had creamy thick hot chocolate at a trendy modern coffee shop and later went for pizza across the street.
Outgoing and expressive he does not stay alone long.When he finally told his mother she sent him to a psychiatrist who said he could cure him but only if he really wanted to change. The wide world of LGBT life is available to anyone with a computer.A friend of his whom he had known since the age of 10, when the friend was 12, had seduced Ari into the more intimate world of sexuality with kissing, licking and eventually intercourse, which Ari says he liked from the very start.Thoughtful, expressive, verbal (4 languages), introspective, narcissistic and gay.All of which fuel an adventurous spirit of discovery and wonder and also ennui with the world around him.