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“If you think you know the rules, some new app will come along and reinvent the rule book.” Here’s how to play the game now.
Apps such as Tinder have spoiled us for choice and made it OK to be dating multiple people at once.
“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.
“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.
But such shenanigans are now considered passé, given how we’re all constantly looking at our smartphones.
“I don’t want to be with someone who’s going to play games and feel weird if I text them to say hello,” Donahue says.
“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.Manley agrees, noting that in current times, “Someone you met on a dating app might have gone on three more dates by the time you get back to them three days later.” Forget keeping things chaste until you’re several dates in.A new study found that millennials are 48 percent more likely than those of other generations to have sex before a first date to see if there’s a genuine attraction.Last-minute offers used to mean you were a second choice, and the advice was to save face and your self-respect by saying, “Nope.” But with the ability to find a potential match now sped up to the nth degree, that rule has been turned on its head.“When I was on Tinder, you’d match, chat for 45 minutes, and then she’d be like, ‘Let’s go on a date tomorrow,’” Manley says. It saves you time figuring out if this is the right person.” Forget having a one-night stand and never seeing the person again.