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A question I receive often is, “How did you make the decision to date and marry a younger guy?” While it’s fairly common for a woman to marry an older man, the reverse isn’t as much of a social norm. Travis and Leah, who have been married close to 20 years, met while attending the same six-week missions organization training.But as I observed how he interacted with people at church and did his job, my fears were alleviated.At one point, he even confided that it had been his dream to have a wife and family since he was a young teen.

The problems we were talking through — for example, what if someday our sex drives didn’t match up? We were just going to be more proactive about them.

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I guess it was because I’d heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I’d sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. (And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday.) Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery. In case you’re wondering, I married that guy eight months later.

From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was.

Even some 30-something guys I knew didn’t seem ready.

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